Bullying in Maxfax: A Personal Reflection
Author: Omar El Khatib
Although I am grateful for my unique life experiences—including the crazy and expectedly unexpected career path I had so far, but there have been some dark chapters along the way.
It’s almost certain that every single one of us will have difficult moments in our careers and our lives as a whole. This includes periods of uncertainty, tremendous pressure, and emotionally draining situations.
My theory is, if the work pressure is too much, if you’ve had a difficult patient or dealt with a tricky situation, it will most likely pass in a few days. After all, you will go back to bed, sleep over it, and move on. However, it’s those negative feelings that stay with you and leave emotional scars deep in your heart that are the hardest to deal with.
Back in the day, I used to think of “bullying” as that silly kid at school who makes fun of everyone. Unfortunately, it can take many forms and shapes in the professional world, especially in healthcare.
I learned this the hard way when I worked as a Dental SHO in the Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery department in one of the hospitals down south. It was a really nice and quiet town by the sea, but the toxic work environment made my life hell.
Because I was the newest and least experienced member of the team, I was the most “vulnerable” prey in the eyes of the bullies. And remember, bullies don’t have to be senior consultants. They can be anyone. It could be your rota coordinator, a registrar, or even a colleague you work with during the day or hand over to in the evening.
From actively ignoring me every single time I walked in and said, with a smiling face, “Good morning!” to deliberately jumping on my learning opportunities, limiting my ability to take annual leave, and putting the blame on me when things went wrong—even when the evidence was irrefutable—my life slowly but surely started to turn into a horror movie. Although I used to be that “clever and confident” student, I started to question if I was even worthy of having a career in medicine at all. I was made to think that no one trusts me, no one believes in me, and no one really cares.
From long, difficult nights of overthinking and frustration, to taking long solo walks just to get some fresh air, to endless conversations with family and friends, I somehow made it through this nightmare. Things eventually took a dramatic turn when I started to gain the trust of the senior members of the team. So much so that the clinical lead was almost in tears when I was leaving. He even wrote me a heartfelt reference letter that I later proudly used in my medical school application. Ironically, despite being efficient and talented, one of the colleagues who had been particularly nasty to me wasn’t given a reference at all. Their poor work ethic and complete lack of teamwork had finally caught up with them.
Looking back, there are so many lessons I’ve learned from that experience. But if I had to highlight the most important ones, they would be:
Stand your ground. If you feel like you’re being treated unfairly, don’t let it shake your confidence.
People notice more than you think. You might feel like you’re struggling alone, but often, people around you can see what’s going on—even if they don’t say anything.
Speak up, but don’t waste your energy on the wrong battles. Not every situation requires a direct confrontation, but that doesn’t mean you should just take it. Choose your moments wisely and seek support from the right people, whether it’s a mentor, a senior, or even your training lead.
If local resolution and informal discussions don’t work, the next steps will include contacting the freedom to speak up guardian in your trust, the BMA wellbeing support services and the Occupational health team. Moreover, make sure you refer to the bullying and harassment policies in the trust’s intranet and try to document the bullying incidents especially if there is evidence in emails for example. External escalation to GDC/GMC might be necessary if things get to the point where patient safety becomes at risk as a risk or the bullying culture in that department.
Don’t judge people too quickly. Sometimes, the people you think are on your side won’t be, and sometimes, those you least expect will surprise you. First-hand experience is always the best way to form an opinion.
At the end of the day, these experiences shape us. They make us more resilient, more self-aware, and—most importantly—they teach us what kind of colleague we want to be. If there’s one thing to take away from all this, it’s that you always have a choice in how you treat others. And I’d much rather be remembered for lifting people up than dragging them down.
